But A Memory
by LoonyLoopyLupin96
Summary: "What the devil is going on?" The two boys wrenched themselves apart. Remus had jumped; fear rang through him as though it were Fenrir confronting him once again. As it was, it was Sirius' mother. Who was worse, Remus would never be able to decide. It links to an early part of OotP. One Shot. : #Wolfstar


**My first Wolfstar in quite a while, I believe. I was hesitant to read any of the Harry Potter books, because I knew it would lead to odd one-shots, like this. Surprisingly, I got through about 73 pages before this jumped to mind. Please review, and I see myself writing more and more, before I finish the book...**

**I ought to say this more often, especially when I use scenes from the book (the beginning and slight end) that I don't own the characters, nor am I making money from it (as you all know, anyway). So, there you have it.**

**Hope it's all right; as I say, it just came to mind.**

**R&R :)**

You!" she howled, her eyes popping at the sight of the man.

"Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!"

"I said – shut – up," roared Sirius, as with a stupendous effort, he and Remus pulled the curtain closed.

Remus and Sirius' eyes met only briefly as they did; Remus – smirking. Sirius scanned Remus' face for something, which he found and so merely nodded; a small, tiny smile to obscure Remus' smirking grin.

* * *

"They're out?" Remus asked his friend in a shaky voice, upon entering the ornate building that was Sirius' home.

The Christmas holidays had begun, and Remus' mother had granted him permission to go to James', with Sirius. Little did she know that the Potters were, in fact, on holiday – and Sirius had other things in mind.

"They're out," Sirius clarified, closing the door behind them.

"Are you sure?" Remus prompted. He was well aware of the standards Mrs Black expected in a person, and being an impecunious half-breed was near the lowest of the low in her book.

"Don't you trust me?" Sirius asked, turning to Remus with a swift, delicate spin.

"With my life," Remus responded without hesitation. It was something he had pondered long and hard, many a night, and settled upon.

"Then trust me on this," Sirius said; his grin back in place as he took Remus' hand and pulled him down the short corridor to the study.

"Is this-"

"The study," Sirius clarified with a grin. He knew very well that Remus would love the extortionate amount of books and research files stored in the room.

As the door opened to reveal that which was inside, Remus' mouth opened in surprise.

All around him the walls bore shelf after shelf of books. They were ordered perfectly, so much so that a ball could roll down the top of each book as though it were going down a hill.

Remus' gaze never wavered as all thoughts of worry regarding the Black's whereabouts ebbed away from his mind as he observed the room. A room he would only ever dream of possessing.

"It's brilliant," Remus said after a while.

Sirius had long soon released Remus' hand, much to the latter's unawareness, and sat himself on the comfortable looking, large burgundy chair. It's large back lay untouched; notifying Remus, who was now appraising Sirius in the chair – that few had actually sat in the chair.

"I thought you'd like it," Sirius said, pleased.

"'Like it'?" Remus asked in disbelief, "I love it."

Sirius chuckled. It was very rare that he would actually sit and watch Remus' fascination with books, without having some sneer retort regarding Remus' book fetish.

Remus continued to marvel at the books surrounding him as Sirius reached out to pull him into the chair. The chair, large enough for two adults, fit the two of them beside one another with great ease.

"I could stay here all day," Remus muttered wistfully.

"Feel free to come back any time you like," Sirius answered.

Not realising he had spoken aloud, Remus turned; a slight grin on his face, "Oh yeah, I'm sure your mother would welcome me with open arms."

Sirius shook his head, a bitter grin hung on his face, "I don't fit in here. Hell, I shouldn't even be here."

"If you don't fit in, where does that leave me?" Remus asked. There was a joking tone to his words, though his manner portrayed a seriousness underlying what he had said.

"I can think of many places you would fit it," Sirius replied. Similarly, there was a teasing tone to his voice, although Remus suddenly grew slightly uncomfortable.

Silence hung in the air as Remus continued to observe the books around him.

"Relax," Sirius whispered softly, sensing his friend's unease.

Remus had only turned slightly to Sirius when he felt the latter's lips pressed upon his own. Frozen with shock, Remus couldn't respond; he couldn't move away, nor could he indulge in the activity.

"Relax," Sirius whispered again, brushing his hand over Remus' until their hands wound their way across one another.

Satisfied that his friend didn't think he was being molested, Sirius parted his lips slightly.

New to the entire situation, Remus had no clue as to what he was supposed to do, and felt no shame in saying as much.

"I don't-"

"Relax," Sirius repeated, "Close your eyes," he went on; quieter, before finishing with, "Trust me."

Obligingly, Remus felt his eyes close, as though he were being compelled by Sirius' words.

The last thing Sirius wanted to do was frighten Remus at all, and he had no intention of taking things any further. After all, they were only young.

Though Sirius was 'the ladies man' as everyone referred to him, only now had he revealed his true inner self.

Why else would Padfoot – as he was as the dog – have such a dark colour tone, not unlike Remus' tone, as Mooney. And there was Padfoot's nose; the small wet, heart-shaped nose that he was so frequently teased about by James.

These were the things running through Remus' mind for the short duration of the kiss.

This was, of course, before they were interrupted.

"What the devil is going on?"

The two boys wrenched themselves apart. Remus had jumped; fear rang through him as though it were Fenrir confronting him once again.

As it was, it was Sirius' mother. Who was worse, Remus would never be able to decide.

"Mother," Sirius spat.

As the events clicked into place, Sirius' mother fell into a rage. With his fright, Remus could not quite hear the full extent of what it was she was saying. Only the odd word fell into his ears.

"You're supposed to be at school," she began, "Though Salazar kn-"

"Godric," Sirius pointed out, seeming intent to wind her up further.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T SHIP YOU OFF TO JOIN THE DARK LORD THIS MINUTE!"

Without the usual bravery that Sirius always possessed, he stumbled over in his mind, a simple but effective response.

"Because I won't go."

The screech Mrs Black went on with made Remus' skin crawl. And his shudder only alerted her to the fact he was still present.

She glared over at him before turning back to her son, "I wish I'd gotten rid of you when I had the chance," she spat harshly.

The words stung Remus, as he had often wondered if his own mother had thought the same. Though moral sense told him to keep quiet.

Unfazed, Sirius shrugged, "Too late for that." He turned to Remus, "Come on, Mooney, we ought to get going."

Unaware that he was shaking, Remus rose.

"I don't know where you think you're going," Mrs Black went on, "You need reminding about the rules of this house."

Ignoring her, Sirius motioned for Remus to go out of the door. Only too willing, Remus left the room. Just before Sirius could, however, his mother stepped in his way, her eyes cruel.

"You're an abomination, a scheming blood traitor, and how will I ever understand how such bile could have come from me, I will never, ever, know," she finished, moving out of his way.

As he passed, he released a bitter sneer before taking Remus' shaking hand in his.

"Shame of my flesh," they could hear her muttering as she made her way out of the room to collect some cleaning material to rid the room of the bile that had contaminated it.

"Well, I see you've met my mother," Sirius said as they made their way out of the house, "I'm sorry about her."

"Don't worry about it," Remus responded instantly, though he couldn't quite shake the quiver in his voice.

"I mean it," Sirius went on, not unkindly, "She isn't worth the air she breathes."

As Remus had never felt such feelings of hatred towards anyone, not even Fenrir who he had believed for a great deal of his life, had no such control over what he had done.

Sirius released a long breath, seeming to rid himself of all the anger and bitterness towards his mother.

"She wasn't in when we first got there, I swear," Sirius found himself saying.

At this, Remus smiled, "Don't worry – I still trust you."

And then they picked up where they had left off.

* * *

As their eyes met, the scenario ran back through Remus' mind. As an unable Occlumens, he wasn't sure what was going through Sirius' mind at the time.

However, he knew that something similar was. What with the use of the exact same words Sirius' mother had used that day, many moons ago.

As it was, the thoughts had gone through Sirius' mind; his mind lingered on Remus' final words, as opposed to the kiss itself.

'I still trust you.'

But he hadn't, had he? Sirius had spent Godric knows how many hours in Azkaban, hoping to have a visit from Remus, repeating these words. But he never had.

And it was with that in mind that Sirius merely nodded, and turned away from his ex-lover, to address his Godson instead.

"I see you've met my mother," he said to Harry.

It was then that Remus understood, and so dismissed himself from the building as he had that day, though without Sirius' hand to protect him once again.

'I wanted to trust you,' was all that kept going through Remus' mind as he wandered around in the cold outback of London.


End file.
